THE REASON I COULDN'T SLEEP THAT NIGHT

So, aged 22 years, nearly 23 in just over a week and the last few months I have hit rock bottom. So begins the journey back up to the top of my mountain, my castle, where I felt I could conquer the world.

Depression. Apparently that's what I have. That's what the doctor said and Manu said I showed signs of it before I saw someone about it. It's sort of funny when you think about it. In Britain it is said depression affects most people at some stage in their life. Before this condition was discovered, many years ago, did people actually have it? Was it diagnosed? I bet a smaller proportion of the population had depression then than they do today. They probably just shrugged it off as having a bad day / week / month / year! Then again, I'd put it down to the fact that life was a lot less stressful. Pace of life before before the breakthroughs of science and technology would be at a human pace, not the speed of light, which is the pace we now have no choice but to adapt to, in order to keep up with e-mails and keep our jobs. I'm sidetracking...

The world is going to end soon. Whether it be the whole world or just mine it's not going to be here forever. That and the lifeline of my palm is noticeably short drawing me to my irrational conclusion. Better make the most of it now.

The state of the nation as we know it has grown to dependency. Why is it that any messes we find ourselves in, we need to rely on someone else to help or fix it all for us? I've ended up like that. I feel like I depend on people too much now and I don't like it. It's not me. I was happier dealing with problems myself than relying on theirs. Which is how I think I can save the world, or Britain at least. Self sufficiency. Two words, a lifeline to you and your family.

Going back to the first humans, they did not rely on a small bunch of ladies and gentlemen discussing how they are going to keep this island going, nor did they rely on bits of paper that have a value, or at least did until some idiots in ivory towers messed with this paper through greed, giving it no value, resulting in a deflated island where that paper held a lot of value to those who truly earned it.

Our first humans relied on the land and lived within their means. Some could argue that because of this they were more clever than the humans today. They lived within their means. Why can't we do this now? Why do we need credit and loans ? It is not free money, it is another way of fueling those who are greedy and live outside their means. If you can't afford something now, you need to save, get through the tough time or you should have worked harder at school and life so you could be earning more money to buy that something you want. Rant over... I can sleep now....